To our male allies: a challenge

Today’s post was originally written by The Radical Housewife, ShannonDrury. Her blog can be found at

For those who are unfamiliar with Slut Walks, check out Jessica Valenti’s article about them at

The original post that Drury is referring to has been since removed by it’s author, but her sentiment remains:  good men need to step it up and speak out against victim-blaming. Loudly, please.


Two years ago, I participated in a MPRIG-sponsored panel on sexual violence during the University of Minnesota’s Welcome Week. To their great credit, a large number of earnest 18-year-olds showed up to discuss an issue far less appealing than learning the forehand frisbee throw. During both the morning and the afternoon sessions, I heard a question that I remember from my own college days, asked the bravest straight male in the room: “This is really upsetting. Are women actually assuming I’m a perpetrator just because I have a penis?”

I’m sorry if it feels that way, I said. But don’t blame women. Blame guys like Neal Krasnoff, author of the blog The Loyal Opposition.
Now I’m not saying that Neal is a perp any more than those college guys were, but I do know that he has a mean streak a mile wide, and he vents said meanness on his blog. Normally, I’m of the mind to let creeps like him be. Why send him the web traffic? But today, the circumstances are different than when he called me a “matriarchic supremacist” back in 2008. I can handle personal trashing, but when I read his new post about SlutWalk Minneapolis (called “If she dresses like a slut, and acts like a slut, is she really a feminist?”), I felt a response was necessary.
Last week I wrote a post about frustration with rape culture that was borderline misandrous, and I was called out as such by a secret fan of mine who linked to it on a Modern Radio discussion forum. Since Jawknee also mentioned that I am “great” and “super smart,” I know that he must have seen my point: that rape culture curdles the souls of even sensible women from time to time. And Krasnoff’s piece on SlutWalk Minneapolis is as soul-curdling a bit of rape apologia as I have read in a long time. Set your TRIGGER WARNING alarm, then read him here:
“Slutwalk” ideology is not about rape, as the protestors claim. It is about an attempt to abrogate the moral agency of women. It posits that women can behave as they wish with no consequences for their acts. …dressing up in a club miniskirt, dancing and grinding with alcohol-fueled, hypersexualized 20-something men at a downtown club, then going back to their apartment with them to presumably discuss the Brothers Karamazov. Or travelling without niqab in Taliban controlled territory. Or holding raw meat out in front of a starving dog.

Does NO still mean NO if this gorgeous Asian slutwalker does everything to say “f— me”?
I hear quite a bit from straight men about how they aren’t sure that feminism is for them, while at the same time bemoaning the guilty until proved innocent phenom mentioned above. Well, guess what? It’s anti-feminist jerks like Krasnoff who are making your lives difficult, fellas. What on earth could make anyone feel comfortable comparing a woman to a slab of “raw meat”? Sexism. It’s not confined to small-time weirdos on the internet, either. It’s everywhere.
Help us end it, guys. We can’t do it without your help. We need you to speak out against this warped view of the world. You are not dogs, and we are not meat. We are all human beings who deserve respect, safety, and freedom.
What’s the saddest thing about a piece of writing like this? Neal Krasnoff knows rape survivors. He’s friends with them, he works with them, he even has some in his own family. He doesn’t realize this, though, because no survivor would ever share her truth with a guy him. Yet he takes to his blog and condemns these very women for failing to apply “reasonable judgment and common sense.” I wonder how that goes over with the women in his life who were molested by family members and/or raped by their boyfriends, let alone the ones who were victimized after a night on the town. They have my compassion and pity. Neal? Not so much.



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10 responses to “To our male allies: a challenge

  1. Your feminazi justice rant rings hollow. You write, “… We are all human beings who deserve respect, safety and freedom…” even as you advocate the genocide of fellow Citizens of the Womb. Where is your demand for his respect for his right to life as a human being, for his safety from the butcher’s knife, for his freedom to be safe-guarded? You are a Hypocrite and America sees this.

    Btw,It’s just human nature, if a gerl dresses, walks, talks, and lies like a whore, she is treated like a Prochoice Whore. If she is chaste, moral and Pro-Life she is treated like a woman.

    ralph marie de largo

  2. Ralph, you and Neal are two birds of a feather. I have compassion, pity and deep sympathy for any women in your life.

    • Shannon, I presume that the boi you refer to, Neal is the author of ‘Slut Walks?’ I’ll have to get around to reading the entire article. Btw, I have compassion, pity, deep sympathy and fear for any child in your womb.

      I’ll force myself to read some of your insane ‘Reproductive Justice’ blogs that you heroines of Motherhood are fond of posting, you know, the kind that cheers the murder of 52 Million fellow Citizens but if I’ve read one Prochoice Whore blog, I’ve read them all.

      Talk to you again real soon.

  3. Hannah

    @ Ralph: your name is appropriate.

    I presume your comment means that you’d rape a woman if she acts in ways you find inappropriate – or, amazingly, even if she just happens to be pro-choice. You think that’s totally ok – it’s even “human nature”, you say, to force a woman to have sex with you if you disapprove of her. And that’s so sick I can’t even find words for it. I assure you that many men find themselves quite able to refrain from assaulting women regardless of the woman’s political beliefs.

    I don’t want you to treat me – or the other approximately 100,000,000 pro-choice women in the United States – as a “woman”, whatever that means to you. I want you to treat me as a human being, just like you, with feelings and my own body and boundaries you need to respect. That’s the right way to treat people.

    I am religious and I believe that G-d sees your actions. I don’t think G-d accepts any excuses if you rape or assault a woman. Accept responsibility for controlling yourself. Don’t try to blame women for your unjustifiable actions. I teach my three-year-old better than that, and presumably you are a grown man. You are a shame to your parents.

    • @Hannah: your name is appropriate.

      Hannah Arendt advocated Prochoice Totalitarianism too.

      Your wild eyed, foaming at the mouth insanity is comedic. How you make the leap from my defense of the Womb Citizen from your butcher’s knife to the ‘rape’ of the Sabine Women is classic Prochoice lunacy.

      I have to conclude that you’re one of those Prochoice Botz, that lie, obfuscate and libel any ProLife boi who dares tries and stop you from killing your own child.

      You are not ‘religious.’ You can’t even spell God, least you burst into flames from divine righteousness. I doubt that you even have a child.

      These ‘conversations’ only prove the necessity of focusing our ProLife Advocacy on those Prochoice Politicos who make these unjust laws and promulgate this genocide and tyranny against fellow Citizens.

      You are a laugh-a-minute, your killing of innocent life notwithstanding.

      Btw, you ‘presume’ wrongly.

      • Jon

        Your earlier “behead you like medusa” imagery aside, your idea that Hannah Arendt in any way advocated totalitarianism is hilarious to me. Did Marx write “Wealth of Nations” in your parallel universe too? You sir are too much.

  4. MplsWoman

    @Ralph I’m a mother of 3, I’ve been with my husband since I was 17, I am also a Pro-Choice woman. Now normally I’m a pacifist, for you sweetie, I’ll make an exception. You see, I’m as faithful to my husband and kids as the day is long, I don’t appreciate being called “feminazi” or “pro-choice slut”, I can guarantee my husband (he can also vouch for nasty right hook, we were dating and he playfully called me a feminazi) doesn’t appreciate it either. Bottom line is, that lady with the 3 kids and husband that you’ve never met, that you see at the fair or in public, you don’t know where she stands but she’s not a slut. None of us are sluts. None of us deserves it.

  5. @MplsWoman I shall presume that you are not a Prochoice Botz, a paid Subversive Agent who blogs the oxymoronic, “I am a Christian and I am Prochoice.” or better yet, “Jesus is Prochoice.”

    If you advocate the murder of a fellow Citizen in his mother’s womb you are actually more than a slut, you are a Prochoice Whore. Prochoice is the ‘Pimp’ that sends you out on the street to earn him the money from advocating abortions. The whore is completely tied to the Pimp with her body, mind and soul much as your mind, mouth, vote, and donations is tied to Prochoice.

    Prochoice is a sin against our Creator, Almighty God, our eternal Father, yet you ignore this.

    Prochoice is a heinous Crime Against Humanity codified in the Nuremberg Trials of 1945 condemning genocide and the State systematically killing human life. Again, you turn your blind eye.

    Prochoice is the denial of a fellow Citizen’s God given unalienable right to life, but he is voiceless, he doesn’t vote, he doesn’t raise money, this nation has abandoned him. You advocate his killing for any and all reasons.

    Prochoice is the last vestiges of slavery, where one Citizen claims another Citizen as mere property to be disposed of as the Master/Mother pleases. You advocate, the child is in his mother’s womb, this human being belongs to the mother. You advocate Slavery.

    Prochoice Abortion-Genocide is tolerated by this nation because it is profitable to kill babies, to murder Citizens of the Womb and like the street Whore who makes her Pimp wealthy, you make Prochoice wealthy.

    @MplsWoman you are a Prochoice Whore, mother of three kids, married to a spine-less husband, unrepentant, you shall burn in the everlasting fires of HELL.

    • MplsWoman

      @Ralph I’m an atheist also, so you take your “good book” of which you’ve used to spew hate and basically discredits your “good christian” ways; and go pound sand. Besides hell can’t be any hotter than it was last week in Mpls. Also, Jesus washed the feet of a whore, and I’m in desperate need of a pedi, I’ll take it!

  6. Mark Alexander

    I really liked your line “we are all human beings who deserve respect, safety and freedom”. That Krasnoff guy sounds very unpleasant. Of course in the real world us nice guys have positive relationships with our mothers, sisters and female friends. I, for one, support you 100%.

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